Through much of my journey with melanoma, I take each day as it comes! There have been many tests this year particularly with planning a wedding and what the traditional sense of a wedding means that I battled with and I found that my usual vigour of living each day really hit some emotional roadblocks. To be honest, future planning is something that I try not to really concentrate on. My mind functions on 3 weekly periods, and getting from one treatment to the next, anything outside of that I start pushing to the sidelines, as in my mind it does not require my immediate attention and due to that reason I do not like to give myself any unnecessary cause for anxiety. It’s how I function. Everyone functions differently but for me this is what works.
Than came the purchase of our new home, far less stressful than a wedding I can assure you, it has and continues to be a really organic transition to something that both Ant and I love. And that naughty little hound of ours! It is a place that we can really truly love and nurture as our own. A house for many I believe means building a future but for me it has always been a place that we (Ant and I) can feel safe and content in and a place that we can grow immediate memories together.
This year has been a huge year for us! And to list off all the amazing moments where life really has dished out the goods would distract from what I really want to share with you today… and that is… a little friend by the name of N.E.D. has come to town!
He really likes to go by the name of “no evidence of disease” and sometimes he even likes to go by a “complete response to the drug” to the best my medical team are able to determine from yesterday’s scans!
I am so grateful that my oncologist understands that a long wait until next week is sometimes more unbearable than the process itself! I went into these scans yesterday feeling pretty good, the best I have about any scan to date. Why? I don’t know! In my mind I have been conscious that things had been going good and why shouldn’t they continue to. At the same time, I am a bit of realist when it comes to everything about my cancer, likely because in my 34 years on this earth I have had cancer in my life for a third of it. You start to get use to nit-picking the good news and often you become even more resilient with every blow you receive.
Today, I look back to my diagnosis when I was a little traveller living in the United Kingdom receiving news that I had a thick melanoma to where we are now in 2015 finally receiving a N.E.D. for Advanced Metastatic Melanoma. I honestly think this leap is incredible!!! Today I celebrate the advances that have allowed me the possibility of knowing that right now, at this minute, there is no active cancer that we can detect in my body and for me this is news I honestly never knew if I would hear in my fragile life.
When I have my consult and treatment on Wednesday, I will discuss the process going forward with my ‘treatment plan’ but I know in my heart that I will continue on this treatment path for a little while yet, until I feel comfortable with the “what next” and further research and evidence has been received so that my team and I can make the informed decisions going forward.
For now N.E.D. can stay for dinner, and maybe… just maybe I’ll let him stay with me FOREVER!
With love, light and gratitude xx
Photo by The PhotoBooth Collective
Fiona Bennett says
Fantastic news Kathy. May N.E.D. stay forever! Fiona x
the naked gardiner says
Thanks so much lovely Fiona! All the best on the big speaking trip! You will nail it! Kath x
Angela says
This is the best news EVER. Take care Kathy xxx
the naked gardiner says
Nawww thanks so much Ange! I hope you are well beautiful xx
Richard Van Breda says
Kath … That is brilliant news. The strength and courage you have shown in your fight have been a shining light for so many people. All our love to you, Ant and Winston. Richard, Karin, Megs and Brandon and Jon
the naked gardiner says
Thanks so much Richo for such lovely words! xx
Melanie Eager says
Such wonderful news. Your positivity and attitude is an inspiration. Keep smiling gorgeous x
the naked gardiner says
Thanks so much beautiful! I’m so grateful for your support. xx
Lauren says
What a B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L post!! Such a pleasure to read! You are a true sweetheart!
the naked gardiner says
Nawwwww thank you so much Lauren! I’m so glad you enjoyed! Many thanks for the kind words! xx
Alex says
Such a beautiful and open post. I’m so happy that N.E.D has arrived 😊
the naked gardiner says
Thank you so much Alex! I am happy it has too! Blessed xx
Nouba says
Beyond delighted to hear the wonderful news Kathy! We were so moved by your story when we shared your beautiful wedding earlier this year, as were our readers. Love and hugs from the Nouba team xx
the naked gardiner says
Thank you so much to the beautiful Nouba Team! I feel very overwhelmed with everyones’ love! Blessed! Kathy xx
Grant says
N.E.D is such a great term to hear Kathy! My wife Natasha 34 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma in August this year, on October 6th she heard the same term N.E.D, I couldn’t believe it, but she knew some how she’d be! I wish you and your loved ones nothing but the best, and I wish you N.E.D for the rest of your life!😊 Grant & Tash.
the naked gardiner says
Grant and Tash I am soooooo happy to hear of your news! Well done Tash!!!! And in such a short amount of time from August to October! That’s incredible! You two go and celebrate! I wish you both all the very best life has to offer! I wish you the same back! 😀 Much love, Kathy xx